I now have something to blog about - my new diet. I have struggled with my weight for most of my life and have always been a "big girl" and a "good eater" and this is basis on how I developed my self-image. I am indeed a larger than average person. On the list of words to describe me you would not find petite, small-boned, or frail. On my best days I feel voluptuous on my worst, gross and obese. Last year I was prescribed Phentermine and managed to lose 30 lbs. with the combination of Phentermine, serious diet modification, and 4x a week gym sessions. Well, then the holidays hit and everything I had previously been doing to maintain my weight loss slowly went out the window. I have since gained 15 lbs. back and am not willing to go back to 200 lbs.
I had heard about HCG and when I realized that you have to inject it, I put it out of my mind. That was until I had my last physical and my weight was almost up to 190. I discussed my issue with the nurse practitioner hoping she'd give me more magical Phentermine and she suggested HCG. Apparently it forces your body to release adipose fat rather - the stuff that gathers around your middle and thighs and STAYS there. It also somehow hits the "reset" button on your metabolism. Still, I was reluctant to try it but made an appointment anyway. In my research of HCG I ended up finding a place much closer to my house and went there last week.
The part that still gave me reservations about the whole thing was the injection. I have a SERIOUS needle phobia due to a series of shots I had to get as a child. In the Dr.'s office I mentioned my hesitation and he offered to poke me with the type of needle that I'd be using for the injections. It was truly painless. It was not "this is only going to hurt a tiny bit," it was entirely pain-free. Being the suspicious person that I am, I had to ask him if the needle was collapsible. I was convinced that this was his sneaky way of getting me to purchase his snake oil. ;-)
The first time I had to give myself the shot I woke up at 5 a.m. because I could think of nothing else. I went to the bathroom, mixed up the HCG, and prepared the shot. I sat there and gave myself the mental pep-talk and then quickly jabbed in into my leg the way he showed me...nothing. I pushed in the plunger still not fully convinced that it was in my leg. When I pulled the needle out, I actually squeezed the area to make a little dot of blood so I KNEW that I had indeed put the needle into my skin. I'm still not crazy about the process but at least I know that it is not painful. However, it's still a mental leap every time I'm holding that shot in my hand.
The hardest part about this diet is not the shot - it is the 500 calories-per-day. Today is the first day that I did not want to cheat (and it's only been 3 days). In fact, I still have another 80 calories to burn and I'll do that with 6 oz. of strawberries after this post. However, the thought of 30 days of such a small amt. of calories is overwhelming. Hence, the blog to write down my ups and downs (and hopefully those downs will include serious pounds). I hear that the hunger gets more manageable after the first two weeks, but that is a LONG time when you're hungry all the time.
I have also never realized until recently how many commercials are for food. It is no wonder that the American diet had deteriorated to the current state of processed food. That is what we are constantly "fed" by Madison Avenue! I even opened my Oprah magazine to a paint swatch insert and the paint colors were "bun," "hot dog," and "mustard." I know this is not going to change, so I have to just change my attitude. It helps that I have a supportive husband and a good friend at work. This way I have my bases covered when I'm having a weak moment and I just need a little diet pep talk before I begin gnawing on my leather shoe.
