India Fea

This is one of my "nicknames" from my youth. It means "ugly Indian" and it was a term of endearment (?) from my mom. I had crazy curly hair growing up and it was difficult to manage because not only was it crazy and curly, I also have A LOT of it. For the most part my hair was kept in braids - sometimes one, sometimes two...but always braids. They were to keep my hair tamed. Every now and again I would like to leave my hair down and loose, but it was never a good thing. It would end up tangled and a mess. When my mom would see it down, she'd call me "India Fea." This would shame me into putting it back in braids or at least ponytails.

I actually was terrible at doing my own hair for most of my life. My grandma would help me braid my hair every morning. She would brush it and part it perfectly down the middle for two braids or just pull it all back into one perfectly smooth braid. It was a comforting ritual every single morning. The braids however, hurt my head. Eventually (6th grade) I cut my hair short, but that only made things worse. I had no idea how to do my hair, nor did anyone else. The days of being able to pull my hair back into two plaits were over and now...it was thick, curly, unruly hair gone wild.

I have learned to surrender to my hair after all these years. It's still unruly, but I've learned how to tame it. The funny thing is that my husband actually LIKES my wavy and carefree hair. I've spent so much of my life apologizing for it that it's hard for me to truly embrace it - or believe that it's something to like, rather than endure.